Singaporeans Perplexed By Existence Of Ancient Social Media Platform Called 'Facebook'
SINGAPORE - A bizarre online discussion has broken out among Singaporean netizens regarding the continued use of an archaic social media platform known as 'Facebook', leaving many confused and astonished that such a relic still exists.
"Facebook? Is that the stone tablet thing where old people chisel messages to each other?" asked a baffled Gen Z youth. "I thought it vanished along with Friendster and MySpace eons ago."
According to local archaeologists, Facebook first emerged around 2004 B.C., when woolly mammoths still roamed the Earth. Back then, only a handful of very wealthy elders possessed computers powerful enough to load the primitive website.
"It's astounding that Facebook still clings to life in this modern age," remarked a historian. "Running it must take up 90% of the nation's canvas and stone supply."
Nonetheless, a plucky band of senior citizens adamantly maintains the aging site, gathering in dwindling groups to wish each other Happy Birthday and share Minion memes.
"We just prefer Facebook's simpler times," stated an elder, carving a Life Event into a granite wall with a chisel. "TikTok is far too fast-paced for our arthritic fingers. And we can't figure out Discord - is it some kind of newfangled telegraph?"
Local aunties and uncles have been observed squinting at the platform through papyrus scrolls, often accidentally posting their Mahjong scores as Status Updates.
"I enjoy the Facebook," chimed in Minister of Stone Tablets. "It is a place where I can connect to young people and relate to them."
At press time, calls to shut down Facebook were rebuffed by protestors defending their right to yell at strangers through Facebook Comment Sections.
Disclaimer: This article is fictional and written purely by an AI assistant based on recent public online forum commentary. It is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as factual reporting. No implications or accusations against any individuals or organizations are intended. Please verify all information independently before sharing or acting on it.
Article generated by AI from this thread.