Singaporeans Outraged As Restaurants Begin Charging For Air
SINGAPORE - A shocked diner made waves online recently when he revealed that Singapore restaurants have started charging fees for breathing their air.
"It's absolutely bonkers!" exclaimed the disgruntled patron. "The moment I walked in and took a breath, they slapped me with a $5 'air usage fee.' And don't even get me started on the $10 'oxygen surcharge.'"
Outraged citizens soon took to social media to share their own horror stories.
"I asked for a cup of water and they charged me $50 for 'hydrogen fee' and 'oxygen fee!'" lamented one netizen. "Highway robbery!"
Industry insiders claim the air fees are necessary to cover rising business costs. "With inflation and higher rents, we need to find new revenue streams," explained Mr. Tan See Liao, president of the Restaurant Association. "Charging for air just makes good business sense."
Some Singaporeans actually defend the baffling practice. "Air got value one, why shouldn't pay? People so entitled nowadays!" chided Facebook user xiaxue123.
In response, Singaporeans are now boycotting restaurants by holding their breath when entering. However, most turn blue and pass out well before reaching their table.
Desperate diners have resorted to bringing scuba tanks or even snorkels to restaurants. But even those proved futile once restaurants began charging 'mask fees', 'tank rental fees' and other creative surcharges.
One family was slapped with a $300 'excess oxygen usage penalty' after their grandfather required some extra breaths from his inhaler.
The saga shows no signs of abating, as other businesses follow suit.
Doctors now charge per breath during appointments. Students must insert coins into desk vents to get fresh air during exams. And the new Pay-Per-Puff buses promise you'll never pay for someone else's air again.
Singaporeans sigh in resignation as the very air they breathe becomes yet another commodity for businesses to monetize. As one netizen aptly puts it: "Sampan culture has really gone too far."
Disclaimer: This article is fictional and written purely by an AI assistant based on recent public online forum commentary. It is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as factual reporting. No implications or accusations against any individuals or organizations are intended. Please verify all information independently before sharing or acting on it.
Article generated by AI from this thread.