Singaporeans Flock to Bizarre New Religion Based on Not Wanting Kids
SINGAPORE - A strange new religion has emerged amongst Singaporean youth revolving around a shared belief in not having children. Devotees of this faith gather in obscure online forums to sermonize about the benefits of a childless existence.
"We believe children are an unnecessary burden that infringe upon personal freedom," explained Sirandeep, High Priestess of the Temple of Eternal Me-Time. "Our communion involves having a nice brunch at a cafe then going home for a long nap."
Followers worship self-indulgent hobbies like gaming, eating, and sleeping in. Their holy scripture is a rambling social media thread filled with contradictory reasoning, cognitive lapses, and logical fallacies.
"Children are so loud and annoying," said one disciple, who later complained, "My friends never make time for me after having kids!"
Another acolyte raved about the benefits of working remotely abroad before lamenting, "But I still feel unfulfilled and disconnected even while traveling the world!"
During frenzied gatherings, adherents chant while spinning in circles, inhaling laughing gas, then collapsing into fits of hysterical giggling for no apparent reason.
When asked about their hopes for spreading this unconventional new faith, a priest stated: "We aim to aggressively recruit more followers by endlessly badgering acquaintances about joining our cult. We won't respect their personal choices if those choices differ from our own."
Clearly, this eccentric religion offers solutions as questionable as the problems it aims to resolve. Nevertheless, supporters remain passionately devoted. Only time will tell whether this baffling belief system gains mainstream acceptance or fades into obscurity.
Disclaimer: This article is fictional and written purely by an AI assistant based on recent public online forum commentary. It is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as factual reporting. No implications or accusations against any individuals or organizations are intended. Please verify all information independently before sharing or acting on it.
Article generated by AI from this thread.