Singaporeans Demand Access to Top Secret Employment Data; Government Cites Risk of Hurt Feelings
SINGAPORE - A heated debate erupted in Singapore's parliament this week over lawmakers' demands to access highly classified government data on resident employment. Opposition Leader Pritam Singh claimed the data is needed to formulate alternative policies, but Manpower Minister Tan See Leng refused, warning that releasing such sensitive information could harm Singapore's fragile social compact.
"We cannot allow vitriolic Singaporeans to get their hands on these employment statistics," said Tan gravely. "Some of the figures, if taken out of context, could be quite upsetting to certain segments of our society who prefer to remain blissfully unaware of inconvenient facts."
Tan argued that publicly disclosing the exact breakdown of jobs held by Singapore Citizens, Permanent Residents, Employment Pass holders, S-Pass holders, etc, poses too great a risk to national harmony.
"Do we really want to stir up resentment by letting people know how few good jobs are actually going to locals?" asked Tan. "That would force Singaporeans to confront harsh realities which are better left unsaid, like the fact that the ratio of high-paying jobs for foreigners versus citizens is about 10 to 1 right now."
"Ignorance is bliss," he added. "We must protect the feelings of all those who wish to pretend that Singapore puts Singaporeans first, when the actual data shows otherwise."
In response, Pritam Singh accused the government of being paternalistic and trying to spoon-feed simplistic narratives to the public. "We need to respect Singaporeans enough to let them handle complex information, even if some get triggered by it," argued Singh.
But Tan rejected this, saying Singaporeans are too fragile and volatile. "One little factoid could send people into an irrational rage," he said. "Before you know it, they'll be rioting in the streets, burning effigies of the Prime Minister and chanting anti-establishment slogans."
"Is that what we want?" asked Tan gravely. "To awaken the raging mob based on a dry statistic taken out of context? Singaporeans can't handle the truth!"
At press time, the government had formed a new statutory board called the Ministry of Information Suppression, tasked with keeping troublesome data away from the easily excited masses. Its motto: "Ignorance is strength."
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