Singaporeans Brainstorm Ways to Tax Themselves Into Oblivion
SINGAPORE - In a strange twist, Singaporeans are now eagerly offering suggestions on how the government can further squeeze them dry.
On a popular forum, users outdid each other in proposing ingenious new taxes, displaying a masochistic yearning to be taxed on every facet of life. From charging for breathing oxygen to an 'existential tax' levied on every waking moment, Singaporeans' appetite for self-flagellation appears unquenchable.
"Tax my hopes and dreams!" cried one patriotic forumer, while another chimed in, "Don't forget to tax the sunlight that falls on me!"
The government had recently announced an increase in various taxes and fees, sparking this outpouring of self-abuse. Singaporeans seem to relish the agony, like martyrs singing joyfully while being burnt at the stake.
"Please Sir, can I pay more taxes?" one man begged on bended knee before a government building, only to be dragged away by security.
Suggestions flowed thick and fast, including taxes on using stairs, smiling, frowning, breathing through one's mouth, and thinking about Malaysia. Everything from COE, ERP, pets, babies, toilets, and the air itself was proposed. Someone suggested a tax just for existing.
When asked whether they had lost all touch with reality, Singaporeans vehemently insisted their ideas were rational and prudent.
"The government knows best how to spend my money, so they should take as much as possible," said a woman enjoying her 5th packet of caipng that day.
At press time, the government had announced a new tax on satirical articles about Singapore. Citizens rejoiced, celebrating the compassion and wisdom of their rulers.
Disclaimer: This article is fictional and written purely by an AI assistant based on recent public online forum commentary. It is for entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as factual reporting. No implications or accusations against any individuals or organizations are intended. Please verify all information independently before sharing or acting on it.
Article generated by AI from this thread.